women grow hair on their boobs and their butts and their legs and their arms and their stomachs and their face and really anywhere their genetics decides to have hair and it is perfectly normal what isnt normal is men who have never touched a razor trying to shame women for not looking like a hairless baby
We were at school and she started to casually drop in that she liked comics/games/”geek stuff”, at the time I was wearing an iroman shirt. Deeper into the conversation i found that she didn’t know what I meant when I was…
I’m told the finnish epithet for prescriptivists is “pilkunnussija” ie “comma-fucker” which is 100x better than the lazy “grammar nazi” that gets thrown around in english imho and i propose translating and adopting this term immediately
“Do you know what people really want? Everyone, I mean. Everybody in the world is thinking: I wish there was just one other person I could really talk to, who could really understand me, who’d be kind to me. That’s what people really want, if they’re telling the truth.”—Doris Lessing, The Golden Notebook (via misswallflower)
“My intentions were not to come off as racist, so nothing I do is racist. Ever. Because I have a black friend.”—Ancient White Proverb. Said many times in different variations by white people after doing/saying something racist. (via rotiqueen)
“If men’s kindnesses toward women were really only kindnesses, a man would be pleased if another man or woman offered these kindnesses to him. He would be pleased if another man or woman lit his cigarette or pulled out his chair for him. He would be pleased to derive his income, prestige, power and even his identity from his partner. He would take pride in another man’s or woman’s offer to walk him to his car at night. But in fact, “one of the very nasty things that can happen to a man is his being treated or seen as a woman, or womanlike.”—(Frye 1983, p. 136).”
“On really short acquaintance he told me some things about myself that were true. I think it’s easy to mistake understanding for empathy - we want empathy so badly. Maybe learning to make that distinction is part of growing up. It’s hard and ugly to know somebody can understand you without even liking you. When you see understanding just used as a predator’s tool, that’s the worst. I… I have no idea how Dr. Lecter feels about me.”—Clarice Starling, Hannibal (Thomas Harris)
“You don’t actually get over things… you incorporate them. They become part of everything you are. I don’t mean that you walk about crying all the time. But you change.”—When You’re Falling, Dive: Lessons in the Art of Living, by Mark Matousek (via maryhuynh)
Most girls are relentlessly told that we will be treated how we demand to be treated. If we want respect, we must respect ourselves.
This does three things. Firstly, it gets men off the hook for being held accountable for how they treat women. And secondly, it makes women feel that the mistreatment and sometimes outright violence they face due to their gender is primarily their fault. And thirdly, it positions women to be unable to speak out against sexism because we are made to believe any sexism we experience would not have happened if we had done something differently.
I cannot demand a man to respect me. No more than I can demand that anybody do anything. I can ask men to be nice to me. But chances are if I even have to ask he does not care to be nice. I can express displeasure when I’m not being respected. But that doesn’t solve the issue that I was disrespected in the first place.
I can choose to not deal with a man once he proves to be disrespectful and/or sexist. But even that does not solve the initial problem of the fact that I had to experience being disrespected in the first place.
As a young girl, I wish that instead of being told that I needed to demand respect from men that I had been told that when I am not respected by men that it’s his fault and not mine. But that would require that we quit having numerous arbitrary standards for what it means to be a “respectable” woman. It would mean that I am not judged as deserving violence based on how I speak, what I wear, what I do, and who I am.
“When you grow up as a girl, the world tells you the things that you are supposed to be: emotional, loving, beautiful, wanted. And then when you are those things, the world tells you they are inferior: illogical, weak, vain, empty.”—Stevie Nicks (via colestclair)
“I don’t consider myself a feminist, I prefer to call myself a humanist or an egalitarian.”— Pseudo-intellectual white dude who prefers to imagine that he’s more enlightened than feminists and also is uncomfortable with the thought that he’s part of the problem and also has a incorrect conception of feminism. (via brighterthanroses)
“You learn to love
that used to disgust you.
Those you cannot bear
you learn to accept.
Hating yourself is
It is time for you
to rest.”—Michelle K., It is Time. (via forever-and-alwayss)